Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
