It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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