Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well you can't waste a boner
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
