I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
