Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
