she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
