So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
