so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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