i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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