Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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