Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
