My girlfriend figured out who you are.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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