wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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