I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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