They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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