i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
