I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
