Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
