I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
