my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
