She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
