THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
