Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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