Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
