Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize