It's like God shit irony all over that family
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
