Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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