Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
