just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
