shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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