Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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