I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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