unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
