I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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