I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
