I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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