ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
