There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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