It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
