But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
