Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
