Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
