these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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