I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize