He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
