But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
