dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
