quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
