you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
