I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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