You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize