I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
