A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
