If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think your dad took our porno
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
