No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
