is this the sara with the beer cane?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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