and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
