Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
