is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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