I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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