Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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