my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
